Dr (Col) V K Wadia is a renowned medical doctor with 35 yrs of practice. His expertise in treatment of Sex Problems, and effective result oriented counselling in Marriage & Relationship has won many accolades.

Contact For Appointment

Phone No. (Delhi) 9891152777 9891192777

Tele-Counselling

For patients unable to make a visit to the clinic personally, this option allows to obtain Sex & Relationship Counselling from Dr.Wadia over the Phone or Skype, and receive an opinion about possible treatment options.

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Sexual Variants and Paraphilias

It is important to understand the difference between sexual variations & Paraphilias. Sexual variations are sex acts which are variations or deviations of normal sex only and are therefore normal. Paraphilias on the other hand constitute abnormal or Pathological sexual behavior. However, it is not possible all the time for a layperson to make a clear distinction between the two. For example homosexuality & anal sex are not Paraphilias though many people still perceive them as abnormal.

It is interesting to know that normal variations of sex are also perceived differently by different people. Some people call a particular act of sex dirty, others may feel it is erotic. Commonest examples are oral sex, watching blue films, reading porn books, using sex toys etc. Many a number of times, a person especially a woman, may be in dilemma, unable to decide whether a sexual act transgresses the boundaries of decency & falls into the category of dirty or abnormal sex. It often is intriguing how people perceive sex. Fantasising anyone other than the partner during sex may appear abnormal to a person. To another person, fantasising a neighbor next door may appear abnormal but fantasising a film star who is inaccessible may appear normal.

However, it is important to understand that variations in sex are healthy & warranted. If there are no variations, the sex becomes monotonous over a period & the partners lose interest in sex. And what you don’t use, you lose. So this may lead to sexual dysfunctions. This may also lower the levels of sex hormone which is needed for many other health aspects like bone density, muscle mass, memory etc.

On the contrary, Paraphilias are diseases needing treatment. The American Psychiatric Association's DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) describes the essential feature of Paraphilias as ‘recurrent, intense, sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies generally involving nonhuman objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or partner, or children or other non consenting persons’.

The DSM lists the following as the Paraphilias:
Exhibitionism: the recurrent urge or behavior to expose one's genitals to an unsuspecting person. 

Fetishism: the use of non-sexual or nonliving objects or part of a person's body to gain sexual excitement. Partialism refers to fetishes specifically involving non-sexual parts of the body. 

Frotteurism: the recurrent urges or behavior of touching or rubbing against a non-consenting person. 

Masochism:
the recurrent urge or behavior of wanting to be humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer.
Sadism: the recurrent urge or behavior involving acts in which the pain or humiliation of the victim is sexually exciting.
Voyeurism: the recurrent urge or behavior to observe an unsuspecting person who is naked, disrobing or engaging in sexual activities, or may not be sexual in nature at all. 

Transvestite fetishism: a sexual attraction towards the clothing of the opposite gender.

Pedophilia: the sexual attraction to prepubescent children;

Gerontophilia: the sexual attraction to the elderly;

Other paraphilias: this is a grouping of rarer paraphilias including such problems as telephone scatalogia (obscene phone calls), necrophilia(corpses), partualism (exclusive focus on one part of the body), zoophilia (animals), coprophilia (feces), klismaphilia (enemas), urophilia (urine). 

Homosexuality (gay and lesbianism) was previously listed as a paraphilia in the DSM-I and DSM-II, but this was declassified from both DSM-III and DSM-IV, consistent with the change of attitude among psychiatrists and psychologists.  Homosexuality is no longer considered a paraphilia.

To conclude, Counselling helps to differentiate between Sexual Variations & Paraphilias. It makes a person comfortable & reassured by making him aware of the usual variations in normal sex. It also helps in recognising Paraphilias which are managed thru various modes of psycho & drug therapy. 

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Other Articles Written By Dr Wadia

Sexual Counselling

Sexual Counselling is directed at providing the right perspective of 'sex & sexuality'. While 'sex' implies the sexual interaction, 'sexuality' encompasses a host of factors but can be summed up in simplest words as 'Sexual Personality'. Read more about Sexual Counselling to get answers to many questions that arise related to sex.

Sexual Variants & Paraphilias

It is important to understand the difference between sexual variations & Paraphilias. Sexual variations are sex acts which are variations or deviations of normal sex only and are therefore normal. Paraphilias on the other hand constitute abnormal or Pathological sexual behavior. Read about Sexual Variants & Paraphilias to learn more.

Importance of Sex

Next to survival, the most primitive & primal human instinct is sex. Inevitable or not, sex and sexuality are important for overall personality & happiness.

Humans have not been blessed with the bliss of sex for Procreation alone. It is for Pleasure, Physical & Mental health, Emotional health & most importantly Intimacy between 2 loving partners. Some people equate sexual orgasm with Spiritual orgasm too. Read further about the importance & benefits of having a healthy sex life.

Chemistry of Sex

It is naively thought that sex is natural & inborn. It is not. While the urge for sex is natural & lies between ears (mind), the act of sex is learnt & lies between thighs (body). Sex is a behavior one learns by experience & through an appropriate understanding of the Chemistry of sex. Read about the Chemistry of Sex to develop true perspective of sex & hone your sexual skills.

Sexual Myths

Sexual myths are the most rampant myths after religious myths. Let not myths thrive on quacks & quacks thrive on myths. Read this article on Counselling for Sexual Myths to learn more.

Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is the structured science of treating the sex problems with the help of both, counselling & drugs. Know what sex therapy entails & how it works. Read more on Sex Therapy to learn about the role of the mind and body in sex, the commonest sex problems in men and women and more.

Relationship Counselling

The meaning of life is a 'meaningful relationship'. The relationship can not be taken for granted but needs working up all the time. Read more on Relationship Counselling to know the mantras of a healthy relationship to develop a deep insight into the intricacies of human relationship & minimize proneness to relationship crises.

Aging and Sex

Since time immemorial, ‘Aging and Sex’, has been a burning topic. It has acquired more significance in the present context as the average human life span has increased resulting in sizeable number of old age survivors. The advancement in medical sciences has further lent a hand in making people live not only longer, but healthier and active too. And the active lifestyle includes their sex life too. Read more about Aging and Sex.

Sex and Relationship

If ever there is a meaning to life, it is a meaningful relationship. Find some mool-mantras that can help you nurture such a relationship. Read more on Sex and Relationship.

Premarital Counselling

Marriage is perhaps the most important mile-stone in a person’s life, and is many a times, referred in lighter vein as the biggest gamble. Whether man or woman, getting married often looks scary- and justifiably so because of the stakes involved. Read further about Premarital Counselling to understand the importance of the institution of marriage & prepare mentally for the marriage.

Marriage Counselling

A marriage older than a week, has reasons for divorce. A stitch in time saves NINE. This stitch is the ‘Marital Counselling’. Counselling, timely received & acted upon, helps prevent marriage conflicts/discords altogether; or handle them efficiently & successfully if they do occur. Read further on what entails in Marriage Counselling.

Adoloscent Counselling

Sudden spurt in hormones in adolescence/teenagers results in rapid physical, sexual & emotional changes. The changes are so sudden & so rapid that most teenagers are caught off guard & find it difficult to cope up with them unless specifically counseled. Read more about the importance of Adolescent Counselling.