Dr (Col) V K Wadia is a renowned medical doctor with 35 yrs of practice. His expertise in treatment of Sex Problems, and effective result oriented counselling in Marriage & Relationship has won many accolades.

Contact For Appointment

Phone No. (Delhi) 9891152777 9891192777

Tele-Counselling

For patients unable to make a visit to the clinic personally, this option allows to obtain Sex & Relationship Counselling from Dr.Wadia over the Phone or Skype, and receive an opinion about possible treatment options.

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Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is the structured science of treating the sex problems with the help of both, counselling & drugs.

Role of mind & body in sex & Sex Therapy

Sex revolves entirely around mind & body; and the connect between the two.
The Mind
Brain is considered to be the biggest sex organ in the body. There is no denying that sex is largely in the mind. It depends on sexuality (sexual personality) of an individual which is sum total of Nature & Nurture. Nature means what a person inherits at birth & nurture is what one learns with passing days. After birth, nothing can be done to change the natural inheritance. However sexual nurturing or bringing up can definitely be influenced. Nurturing depends on acquiring the right kind of awareness about sex. Nurturing also depends on one’s initial sexual experiences. If one learns the right perspective of sex and if the initial sexual experiences are pleasurable, the pleasurable sex gets reinforced with every episode of sex and thus, one tends to lead a healthy sexual life. Conversely if initial sexual experiences are frustrating or painful, the indifference or aversion to sex gets reinforced with each subsequent sexual encounter, culminating into sexual problems. The commonest example is Premature Ejaculation in males. If initially, the sex is performed hurriedly under the fear of being caught like in garages, vehicles, quickies at corporate lunch breaks etc., one tends to develop Premature Ejaculation in the later part of life. Another common example is the fear of pain/bleeding in a woman. If first intercourse is without much foreplay leading to pain in a woman, subsequent intercourses too may be painful despite generous foreplay. That is how we say the body is where the mind is. Since sex is a conditioned response or a learnt behavior, mind plays the most significant role in sex.

The Body
It is true that sex is between the ears (mind) but it is equally true that its execution is between the thighs (body). So the Vigor & Vitality (sexual health) of the body is no less important. A healthy body is a pre-requisite for a healthy sex.

The Connect
A healthy mind in a healthy body is not sufficient. It is equally important to have the right kind of connect between the body & the mind that is provided by the hormones.

For role of mind, body & the connect between the two, a simily can be drawn with a Generator (MIND), the Tube Light (BODY i.e. Penis) and the Wire (the HORMONAL CONNECT). Unless all three work synergically, the tube light never lights up. And so does the sex.

It is important to understand that sex does not involve a single system of the body. The origin of sex and therefore its problems, is of multidisciplinary nature. The various systems of the body involved in sex are the Psychology, Psychiatry, Uro-genital System, Endocrinology, Vanereology, Gynecology etc.

How do the sex problems originate?

Sexual problems arise either because of Psychological reasons (mind) or Physical reasons (body).  However, it is well accepted now that all the sexual problems of even physical origin, ultimately become Psychological because of ‘fear to perform’ or what is called Performance Anxiety’.

To have a healthy sexual life, the ‘mind’ & the ‘body’ are required to work in tandem and ‘the connect’ between the two too, should be efficient.

What are the commonest sex problems?

The commonest of all the sex problems in males are Impotence (ED- Erectile Disorder) & Premature Ejaculation. Almost 20% of all males at some stage of their lives suffer from these.

The problems commonest amongst women are the low libido (desire), disparunia (painful intercourse) & An-orgasmia (inability to reach orgasm/climax).

There are many other problems too.

What are the principles of sex therapy?

Sex problems are unique to each individual because each individual is unique. The therapy can ill afford to be restricted to a particular or specific stream or discipline of Medical Science. The approach is required to be eclectic & holistic considering each individual’s bringing up, socio-economic status, awareness, societal values, customs & traditions, religious & cultural backgrounds etc.  

The sex therapy revolves around the single most important factor i.e. whether the cause or origin of sex problem is brain (psychogenic) ALONE or there is an underlying disease (physical) too.

  • If psychogenic alone, treatment is psychotherapy with or without drugs.

  • If genesis is physical, person is investigated to find out the underlying disease which then is treated. In this case too, psychotherapy is must because by the time the disease is treated; the symptoms of sex problem become autonomous & tend to stay unless specifically addressed by a Sexologist.
  • What are the steps involved in sex therapy?
    The peculiarity about sex problems is that even if the problem lies with one partner, both the partners suffer equally, necessitating therapy for both. They are treated as one dyad (each considered half patient) unless individual is single, or the partner is not available or is unwilling; in which case treatment is given to the willing/available partner.

    If relationship crisis is at the core of the sex problem, then the focus of therapist is on the relationship rather than the individual partners.

    Various steps involved in treatment are:

  • Diagnosis & treatment of physical causes like Diabetes; diseases of Heart, Kidney, Thyroid; certain cancers; spinal diseases;  some surgeries; tobacco & liquor addiction, substance abuse- the list is too long.
  • Unlearning the inappropriate behavior/technique/sexual conduct & learning the appropriate one.
  • Addressing psychological cause (ignorance, myths, misconceptions, stress, anxiety, spectatoring).
  • Changing the mind-set (Sex is dirty, oral sex is abnormal, good women do not move in bed, we have come off-age, sex      is not pleasure oriented, sex is only penetrative & genitalia oriented, simultaneous orgasm is mandatory etc.)
  • Instituting CBMs (Confidence Building Measures) for building confidence, self esteem, body image.
  • Building healthy relationship.
  • Improving sexual as well as non-sexual communication.
  • Improving perception.
  • Increasing awareness about the importance of Foreplay & Afterplay.
  • Understanding orgasm.
  • Fantasizing & imagery.
  • Creating awareness about exploring each others’ sexual needs.
  • Sexual pleasure enhancing techniques to counter sexual monotony/boredom & to create novelty.
  • Practicing ‘SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES’ & ‘MASTERS & JOHNSON’S technique’ especially in Premature Ejaculation & Impotence.
  • EROS THERAPY for women.
  • Kegels Exercises.
  • Providing appropriate perspective of sex (especially in challenged situations like Cancers, Spinal Injuries etc.)  i.e. sex is not only between thighs or genitalia oriented or penis-in-vagina or penetrative but is between ears, is intimacy oriented & is participative.
  • There is no customized, tailor made, quick-fix solution in cases of sex, marriage & relationship problems. Each case is unique needing a different approach.

    What are the treatment options available in sex therapy? Are all sexual diseases curable?
    The Advent of Viagra in 1996 brought a revolution in the Science of the treatment of sexual dysfunction. This not only gave teeth to the therapy, but made a perceptible contribution towards diagnosis of such diseases. This, added to the fact that we have such wonderful investigation tools like Penis Doppler, prompted highly qualified doctors to jump into the field of sexology, hitherto, the monopoly of quacks; making sex practice very scientific.

    This also led to extensive research widening the spectrum of treatment options.

    The time tested techniques like Masters & Johnson’s Technique, Sensate focus exercises, Eros Therapy (for women) etc ensure a good outcome. With a wide variety of available drugs & modalities like Testosterone, Sildenafil, Verdanafil, Tadalafil, Yohimbine, Dopexitine; various sprays; penile injections; vacuum devices; sexual enhancers, surgeries (penile implantation, vascularisation etc), the cure is almost assured in the right hands. Those few diseases which are not curable, are at least treatable or manageable with the altered perspective of sex & modified sexual behavior.

    Can you prevent sex problems?

    Since the leading causes of sex problems like ignorance, myths, misinformation, the negative conditioning (wrong learning), performance anxiety etc., are psychological in nature, they are highly amenable to sex counselling. Thus with age-appropriate education, such dysfunction can be prevented. Adolescent counselling, Pre-marital (before marriage) & Marriage counselling can go a long way to help the cause especially because the targets groups can be identified.

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    Other Articles Written By Dr Wadia

    Sexual Counselling

    Sexual Counselling is directed at providing the right perspective of 'sex & sexuality'. While 'sex' implies the sexual interaction, 'sexuality' encompasses a host of factors but can be summed up in simplest words as 'Sexual Personality'. Read more about Sexual Counselling to get answers to many questions that arise related to sex.

    Sexual Variants & Paraphilias

    It is important to understand the difference between sexual variations & Paraphilias. Sexual variations are sex acts which are variations or deviations of normal sex only and are therefore normal. Paraphilias on the other hand constitute abnormal or Pathological sexual behavior. Read about Sexual Variants & Paraphilias to learn more.

    Importance of Sex

    Next to survival, the most primitive & primal human instinct is sex. Inevitable or not, sex and sexuality are important for overall personality & happiness.

    Humans have not been blessed with the bliss of sex for Procreation alone. It is for Pleasure, Physical & Mental health, Emotional health & most importantly Intimacy between 2 loving partners. Some people equate sexual orgasm with Spiritual orgasm too. Read further about the importance & benefits of having a healthy sex life.

    Chemistry of Sex

    It is naively thought that sex is natural & inborn. It is not. While the urge for sex is natural & lies between ears (mind), the act of sex is learnt & lies between thighs (body). Sex is a behavior one learns by experience & through an appropriate understanding of the Chemistry of sex. Read about the Chemistry of Sex to develop true perspective of sex & hone your sexual skills.

    Sexual Myths

    Sexual myths are the most rampant myths after religious myths. Let not myths thrive on quacks & quacks thrive on myths. Read this article on Counselling for Sexual Myths to learn more.

    Sex Therapy

    Sex therapy is the structured science of treating the sex problems with the help of both, counselling & drugs. Know what sex therapy entails & how it works. Read more on Sex Therapy to learn about the role of the mind and body in sex, the commonest sex problems in men and women and more.

    Relationship Counselling

    The meaning of life is a 'meaningful relationship'. The relationship can not be taken for granted but needs working up all the time. Read more on Relationship Counselling to know the mantras of a healthy relationship to develop a deep insight into the intricacies of human relationship & minimize proneness to relationship crises.

    Aging and Sex

    Since time immemorial, ‘Aging and Sex’, has been a burning topic. It has acquired more significance in the present context as the average human life span has increased resulting in sizeable number of old age survivors. The advancement in medical sciences has further lent a hand in making people live not only longer, but healthier and active too. And the active lifestyle includes their sex life too. Read more about Aging and Sex.

    Sex and Relationship

    If ever there is a meaning to life, it is a meaningful relationship. Find some mool-mantras that can help you nurture such a relationship. Read more on Sex and Relationship.

    Premarital Counselling

    Marriage is perhaps the most important mile-stone in a person’s life, and is many a times, referred in lighter vein as the biggest gamble. Whether man or woman, getting married often looks scary- and justifiably so because of the stakes involved. Read further about Premarital Counselling to understand the importance of the institution of marriage & prepare mentally for the marriage.

    Marriage Counselling

    A marriage older than a week, has reasons for divorce. A stitch in time saves NINE. This stitch is the ‘Marital Counselling’. Counselling, timely received & acted upon, helps prevent marriage conflicts/discords altogether; or handle them efficiently & successfully if they do occur. Read further on what entails in Marriage Counselling.

    Adoloscent Counselling

    Sudden spurt in hormones in adolescence/teenagers results in rapid physical, sexual & emotional changes. The changes are so sudden & so rapid that most teenagers are caught off guard & find it difficult to cope up with them unless specifically counseled. Read more about the importance of Adolescent Counselling.