Dr (Col) V K Wadia is a renowned medical doctor with 35 yrs of practice. His expertise in treatment of Sex Problems, and effective result oriented counselling in Marriage & Relationship has won many accolades.

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Phone No. (Delhi) 9891152777 9891192777

Tele-Counselling

For patients unable to make a visit to the clinic personally, this option allows to obtain Sex & Relationship Counselling from Dr.Wadia over the Phone or Skype, and receive an opinion about possible treatment options.

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Sex and Relationship

                                                      ………….They lived happily ever-after

The ‘mool- mantras’ of relationship

If ever there is a meaning to life, it is a meaningful relationship.

  • Once accepted, learn to live with your partner the way he/she is. Regret has no place in relationship. Partner is not a cell phone or a computer- you would have got a better model if you had waited.

  • Be empathic. Put yourself in partner’s shoes (or sandals) every time & try to feel the way, partner would have. 

  • Being an open book is an asset. Being discreet is a virtue. Be open without being indiscreet.

  • Have minimum personal space with partner. But respect his/her space within your shared personal space.

  • To love & be loved are important aspects of a gratifying human life. Equally important is to express these sentiments; and that too explicitly. Saying ‘I love you’ repeatedly reinforces the feeling of love in ‘I’ & ‘You’ both.

  • Say ‘ILU’ even if you don’t mean it. You will start meaning it over a period.

  • Have admiration & respect for each other without which love is not possible.

  • Get into the habit of noticing small gestures, and acknowledging them.

  • Never be miser when it comes to communicating- be it sexual communication or nonsexual. An affective communication is the plank of human relationships.

  • Do not take partner for granted. Always give him/her due whether showering appreciation, thanking, giving cards/flowers/gifts etc.

  • Do not do things at the cost of your partner even for a good cause.

  • Nip the problem pre-emptively in the bud before it snowballs. A stitch in time saves nine.

  • Understand the power of mind. Eyes see or miss what mind dictates. So be careful about misperception. Increase self awareness. Keep auto (self) suggesting/self reminding the proneness and danger of falling prey to misperception.

  • Do not trust your perception if it is not in sync with your past experiences.

  • Like a tailor who takes fresh measurements every time, see your partner as if (s)he is more evolved & has perhaps something different to convey this time. This specially holds true when there is relationship discord.

  • Persist with free flowing communication even when you perceive you have been let down badly by your partner & there is no point of discussion. Never shut communication channel. Give partner ample opportunity to express & explain, before forming an adverse opinion or acting there-upon. Postponing retaliation never hurts but once done, can not be reversed.

  • Do not make generalized statements. Whenever arguments break, avoid expressions like ‘I told you!’, ‘Every time’, ‘Last time too’, ‘You are always like this’, ‘Try to understand’, ‘You don’t understand’, ‘If I were in your place’, ‘Your folks’.

  • Do not discus previous issues till the present-one has been completely discussed- resolved or not. Discus previous issues only if inescapable. In that case too, discus them chronologically backwards.

  • Try to substitute ‘You’ with ‘We’ for blames, and ‘I’ with ‘Us’ for taking credits; even if they are figuratively incorrect.

  • There is no place for ego in relationship. Keep ego under check. Winners in arguments may actually be losers in life.

  • Do not use offending words. Convey differences subtly.

  • Be tolerant. Have the flexibility to accommodate & the will to sacrifice.

  • Try to forgive. Not forgiving leads to brooding & continuous heart-burn.

  • Never brood. It puts you in a negative pool. Nip it as soon as it starts-else it becomes increasingly difficult.

  • Have courage & conviction to admit your mistake. Do not feel shy of using word ‘sorry’ when warranted.

  • It removes heart-burn cuts the arguments short. If said with genuineness, it may in fact further strengthen the bonds.

  • Use liberally alternative expressions for ‘thank you’. Often a hug or a kiss or a look conveys more than the word.

  • Plan small things of life together. Enjoy smaller issues- bigger are relatively few.

  • Be honest & truthful to your partner. Have sense of commitment & belongingness.

  • Take out ‘couple times’ whether in nuclear or joint family.

  • Plan quality time together. Try to have common hobbies & sports.

  • Give pleasant surprises. Be a child more often.

  • To laugh & make the other laugh is an invaluable asset. A good sense of humor prevents wounds to occur; acts as a soothing balm if they do.

  • Pay due attention to sex life. Don’t let sexual monotony/boredom creep in. Be innovative & creative.

  • Maintain novelty as much between the sheets as outside.

  • Attach lot of importance to ‘foreplay’.

  • Attach equal importance to ‘afterplay’.

  • It is important to understand that professional counselling- whether sexual or relationship, is a very effective tool.

  • ‘Relationship counselling’ works in the right hands. However it should be resorted to only when all other means have been exhausted; at the same time not delaying it so much that the reconciliation becomes impossible.

  • There are no ready-made, customized solutions for relationship blues. Relationship counselling does provide answers to these problems. It provides clarity of vision to both parties thereby, empowering them with the capability of handling future crises on their own.
  • Why is there a relationship discord?

    There are times when people find themselves against roadblocks in a relationship. The issues may apparently appear to be irresolvable or insurmountable. Often, it is not because of the gravity of the problems between the two but is the result of the clouding of vision on part of one or both. The affected parties usually fail to read each other’s mind. They are no more able to analyze the problem in an unbiased, logical fashion. In fact there comes a stage when they talk to each other with such preconceived notions that they stop registering or assimilating the other’s view point. This leads to what is called relationship discord.

    How exactly does relationship counselling help?

    Like stated earlier, there are no quick-fix or tailor made solutions of relationship discord even at the hands of the counselors. In fact counselors never offer solutions- they empower counselees with the capability to analyze the problems themselves- realistically & rationally. This empowerment helps them at that point of time, and subsequently too in overcoming such challenges on their own. Counselors, by virtue of being specially trained professionals with neutrality, are better positioned to look at the problem from the top, analyze and offer the right perspective to the counselees so that the counselees themselves feel empowered to mend the fence.

    Also read Relationship Counselling

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    Other Articles Written By Dr Wadia

    Sexual Counselling

    Sexual Counselling is directed at providing the right perspective of 'sex & sexuality'. While 'sex' implies the sexual interaction, 'sexuality' encompasses a host of factors but can be summed up in simplest words as 'Sexual Personality'. Read more about Sexual Counselling to get answers to many questions that arise related to sex.

    Sexual Variants & Paraphilias

    It is important to understand the difference between sexual variations & Paraphilias. Sexual variations are sex acts which are variations or deviations of normal sex only and are therefore normal. Paraphilias on the other hand constitute abnormal or Pathological sexual behavior. Read about Sexual Variants & Paraphilias to learn more.

    Importance of Sex

    Next to survival, the most primitive & primal human instinct is sex. Inevitable or not, sex and sexuality are important for overall personality & happiness.

    Humans have not been blessed with the bliss of sex for Procreation alone. It is for Pleasure, Physical & Mental health, Emotional health & most importantly Intimacy between 2 loving partners. Some people equate sexual orgasm with Spiritual orgasm too. Read further about the importance & benefits of having a healthy sex life.

    Chemistry of Sex

    It is naively thought that sex is natural & inborn. It is not. While the urge for sex is natural & lies between ears (mind), the act of sex is learnt & lies between thighs (body). Sex is a behavior one learns by experience & through an appropriate understanding of the Chemistry of sex. Read about the Chemistry of Sex to develop true perspective of sex & hone your sexual skills.

    Sexual Myths

    Sexual myths are the most rampant myths after religious myths. Let not myths thrive on quacks & quacks thrive on myths. Read this article on Counselling for Sexual Myths to learn more.

    Sex Therapy

    Sex therapy is the structured science of treating the sex problems with the help of both, counselling & drugs. Know what sex therapy entails & how it works. Read more on Sex Therapy to learn about the role of the mind and body in sex, the commonest sex problems in men and women and more.

    Relationship Counselling

    The meaning of life is a 'meaningful relationship'. The relationship can not be taken for granted but needs working up all the time. Read more on Relationship Counselling to know the mantras of a healthy relationship to develop a deep insight into the intricacies of human relationship & minimize proneness to relationship crises.

    Aging and Sex

    Since time immemorial, ‘Aging and Sex’, has been a burning topic. It has acquired more significance in the present context as the average human life span has increased resulting in sizeable number of old age survivors. The advancement in medical sciences has further lent a hand in making people live not only longer, but healthier and active too. And the active lifestyle includes their sex life too. Read more about Aging and Sex.

    Sex and Relationship

    If ever there is a meaning to life, it is a meaningful relationship. Find some mool-mantras that can help you nurture such a relationship. Read more on Sex and Relationship.

    Premarital Counselling

    Marriage is perhaps the most important mile-stone in a person’s life, and is many a times, referred in lighter vein as the biggest gamble. Whether man or woman, getting married often looks scary- and justifiably so because of the stakes involved. Read further about Premarital Counselling to understand the importance of the institution of marriage & prepare mentally for the marriage.

    Marriage Counselling

    A marriage older than a week, has reasons for divorce. A stitch in time saves NINE. This stitch is the ‘Marital Counselling’. Counselling, timely received & acted upon, helps prevent marriage conflicts/discords altogether; or handle them efficiently & successfully if they do occur. Read further on what entails in Marriage Counselling.

    Adoloscent Counselling

    Sudden spurt in hormones in adolescence/teenagers results in rapid physical, sexual & emotional changes. The changes are so sudden & so rapid that most teenagers are caught off guard & find it difficult to cope up with them unless specifically counseled. Read more about the importance of Adolescent Counselling.