Dr (Col) V K Wadia is a renowned medical doctor with 35 yrs of practice. His expertise in treatment of Sex Problems, and effective result oriented counselling in Marriage & Relationship has won many accolades.

Contact For Appointment

Phone No. (Delhi) 9891152777 9891192777

Tele-Counselling

For patients unable to make a visit to the clinic personally, this option allows to obtain Sex & Relationship Counselling from Dr.Wadia over the Phone or Skype, and receive an opinion about possible treatment options.

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Chemistry of Sex

Sex is natural or learnt!!!

  • Sex is the most primal primitive human instinct, next only to survival.

  • Sexual urge is an instinct & is between the ears (in mind). But the execution of the urge i.e. the act of sex, is between the thighs.

  • The sexual gratification is not possible unless the mind, the body, and the connect between the two; work in tandem. In fact, brain is considered to be the biggest sex organ of the body.

  • Whether an individual is going to develop a healthy sexuality (sexual personality) and lead a gratifying sex life depends largely on whether his initial sexual encounters have been pleasurable or frustrating.

  • The sexual pleasures or frustrations get reinforced with every subsequent episode of sex.

  • Sexual interaction is a behavior. And like all behaviors, it is learnt in life. If faulty, it has to be unlearnt and then re-learnt.

  • Sex is a life-long learning experience. None can ever claim to have perfected the art and the science of performing sex. There will always be scope for further improvement, how-so-ever good one may be.

  • Sex is dirty, but only as much as a person’s mind.

  • Sex is sacred. At least our forefathers shared this opinion. Else why would they permit sex acts to be depicted on the walls of temples (Khajuraho, Konark & many more), where people of all ages and both (or more) genders go with the idea of worshipping.

  • Sex is not measurable. It has no reference points as we have in pulse, blood pressure, temperature etc. Nor does it have units to measure like Kilograms, Meters, Seconds etc.

  • Sex is not comparable. Sex is strictly one’s very personal, treasured world where very few if at all, are permitted to peep in. So an individual truly has no way of knowing whether his/her/its sex is bad, good, better or the best; nor can one make out whether it is normal or abnormal.

  • No act of sex, performed within the 4 walls is abnormal except one. And that is to indulge in an act of sex where the partner is not agreeable.

  • Relationship is at the core of sex. Sex minus a healthy relationship is animal like.

  • Relationship in itself is bliss. If ever there is meaning to life, it is a meaningful relationship.

  • Sex is not genitalia centered & penetrative. It is always intimacy oriented & participative.

  • A loving & lovable partner is the biggest aphrodisiac.

  • Love is T-A-L-K. Communication whether verbal & nonverbal, sexual & nonsexual, coital & non-coital, is the foundation of a loving relationship.

  • ‘Foreplay’ and ‘Afterplay’ in sex are as important as the ‘Interplay’ (thrusting of Penis).

  • No sex is ‘safe sex’ except ‘no sex’. The one closest to the ‘safe sex’ is the solo-sex (self-pleasuring or masturbation).

  • Condom is the only means that can provide some kind of protection against STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) & HIV during intercourse though it is not 100% fool-proof.

  • Oral sex is no guarantee against transmission of STIs & HIV.

  • Sex is gratifying as solo-act. But sex with the partner is much more pleasurable as the pleasure given to the partner too, reverberates back & adds up.

  • ‘Good women do not move in the bed’ is the biggest lie construed by chauvinistic males.

  • Size- breasts in women and penis in men, does not matter scientifically but does matter psychologically. And what you mind does matter, in sex too.

  • Orgasm is a conditioned response. It is learnt. It gets reinforced for good or bad, with every sexual episode.

  • The journey to an orgasm is as important as the orgasm itself.

  • Equally true- Orgasm is an orgasm, irrespective of how it is achieved.

  • Pre-marital (pre-marriage) counselling helps because forewarned is forearmed. Premarital Counselling is very important for people who are going to get married. It helps understand aspects so very essential for a happy married life like importance of institution of marriage, selection of medically & sexually compatible partner, preservation of marriage, insight into diverse physical emotional & sexual needs of partners, consummation of marriage, the 1st night, conception, contraception, Emergency Contraception, communication, the art & science of making love etc.

  • Marital or marriage counselling too is important as any marriage more than a week old, has reasons for divorce. A stitch in time saves NINE. The counselling addresses marriage concerns & crises. It arms partners with the knowledge regarding consummation of marriage, effective communication, fighting sexual monotony/boredom, enhancing sexual pleasure, painless separation/divorce if unavoidable etc.

  • Consanguineous marriages (marriages amongst close relatives) often result in abnormalities in children.

  • Sexual mismatch & sexual monotony that develop over a period, are the 2 biggest causes of marital discord.

  • Lack of communication, miscommunication & mis-perception are few amongst many significant psychological reasons leading to marriage & relationship blues.

  • Separation/divorce if inevitable, should be made least painful.

  • Sex problems develop either because of physical diseases or due to Psychological reasons.

  • The list of physical causes- both males & females, leading to sex problems is too long. The commonest however are Diabetes, Hypertension, Thyroid, Heart & Kidney problems, Urinary & bladder infections, Hormonal imbalances, Spinal Injuries, alcohol, smoking, Drug abuse (Sexually Transmitted Infections) etc.

  • The psychological reasons leading to sex problems in both males & females are usually ignorance, myths, misconceptions, distractions, mental fatigue, stress, tensions, lack of adequate communication, miscommunication, misperception, relationship or matrimonial discord, mismatched sexual drive, sexual monotony/sexual boredom, lack of sexual novelty, poor body image or self esteem & ‘performance anxiety’.

  • Impotence, also called ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is the commonest sexual disorder in men, followed closely by Premature Ejaculation (PME) sometimes called Rapid Ejaculation. One fifth of world’s male population suffers from ED and/or Premature Ejaculation at some point of time in their lives.

  • The commonest causes of sex problems peculiar to ‘men only’ are Performance Anxiety, Prostate diseases, Testes pathologies etc.

  • Loss of Libido, Painful intercourse & absence of Orgasm are the commonest FSDs (Female Sexual Disorders).

  • The commonest causes peculiar to women only, are mindset that sex has no role after children are born, lack of foreplay from partner, relationship blues,

  • menopause, vaginismus, breast & cervical cancers, ovarian diseases, Pelvic diseases, vaginal discharge, intact hymen, small vaginal opening etc.

  • Impotence or ED is a red herring (warning signal) for a future heart attack. You may land up in heart attack 1-1.5 years after developing ED.

  • 12.5% cases of Diabetes are unmasked when they go to a doctor with ED.

  • If one develops ED, check up becomes mandatory for certain other diseases especially Diabetes, Hypertension and diseases of Heart, Kidney, Thyroid, Hormones.

  • Diabetes advances ED by about 5 years especially if uncontrolled.

  • Premature ejaculation is usually psychological & therefore, highly amenable to counselling & Behavior therapy.

  • Ignorance about sex dips down confidence leading to ‘failure to perform. Repeated failures result into ‘fear to perform’ or what is termed ‘performance anxiety’.

  • Anxiety to perform and please a partner in sex or, to prove masculinity or, to camouflage failure on part of a male also leads to Performance anxiety.

  • Performance anxiety is the biggest hurdle encountered in sex therapy. Even if the sex hormones are present in abundance in the body, this anxiety does not allow release of the hormones during sex. The reduced hormonal levels of these sex hormones during results into yet another failure in sexual performance. This causes further increase in anxiety which in turn further reduces bio-availability of sex hormones; thus setting a vicious cycle of anxiety & failures. Breaking this vicious cycle is an imposing challenge for the Sex Therapists.

  • Sexual myths are most rampant myths after religious, and are the biggest culprits of sex problems originating from psychological reasons.

  • Ignorance, misinformation & sexual myths would survive as long as quacks do; and quacks would survive as long as the ignorance, misinformation & sexual myths do.
  • Sex therapy that includes drugs & counselling both, works. Drugs take care of physical & psychological causes while counselling takes care of the mindset- brain being the biggest sex organ of the body.

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    Other Articles Written By Dr Wadia

    Sexual Counselling

    Sexual Counselling is directed at providing the right perspective of 'sex & sexuality'. While 'sex' implies the sexual interaction, 'sexuality' encompasses a host of factors but can be summed up in simplest words as 'Sexual Personality'. Read more about Sexual Counselling to get answers to many questions that arise related to sex.

    Sexual Variants & Paraphilias

    It is important to understand the difference between sexual variations & Paraphilias. Sexual variations are sex acts which are variations or deviations of normal sex only and are therefore normal. Paraphilias on the other hand constitute abnormal or Pathological sexual behavior. Read about Sexual Variants & Paraphilias to learn more.

    Importance of Sex

    Next to survival, the most primitive & primal human instinct is sex. Inevitable or not, sex and sexuality are important for overall personality & happiness.

    Humans have not been blessed with the bliss of sex for Procreation alone. It is for Pleasure, Physical & Mental health, Emotional health & most importantly Intimacy between 2 loving partners. Some people equate sexual orgasm with Spiritual orgasm too. Read further about the importance & benefits of having a healthy sex life.

    Chemistry of Sex

    It is naively thought that sex is natural & inborn. It is not. While the urge for sex is natural & lies between ears (mind), the act of sex is learnt & lies between thighs (body). Sex is a behavior one learns by experience & through an appropriate understanding of the Chemistry of sex. Read about the Chemistry of Sex to develop true perspective of sex & hone your sexual skills.

    Sexual Myths

    Sexual myths are the most rampant myths after religious myths. Let not myths thrive on quacks & quacks thrive on myths. Read this article on Counselling for Sexual Myths to learn more.

    Sex Therapy

    Sex therapy is the structured science of treating the sex problems with the help of both, counselling & drugs. Know what sex therapy entails & how it works. Read more on Sex Therapy to learn about the role of the mind and body in sex, the commonest sex problems in men and women and more.

    Relationship Counselling

    The meaning of life is a 'meaningful relationship'. The relationship can not be taken for granted but needs working up all the time. Read more on Relationship Counselling to know the mantras of a healthy relationship to develop a deep insight into the intricacies of human relationship & minimize proneness to relationship crises.

    Aging and Sex

    Since time immemorial, ‘Aging and Sex’, has been a burning topic. It has acquired more significance in the present context as the average human life span has increased resulting in sizeable number of old age survivors. The advancement in medical sciences has further lent a hand in making people live not only longer, but healthier and active too. And the active lifestyle includes their sex life too. Read more about Aging and Sex.

    Sex and Relationship

    If ever there is a meaning to life, it is a meaningful relationship. Find some mool-mantras that can help you nurture such a relationship. Read more on Sex and Relationship.

    Premarital Counselling

    Marriage is perhaps the most important mile-stone in a person’s life, and is many a times, referred in lighter vein as the biggest gamble. Whether man or woman, getting married often looks scary- and justifiably so because of the stakes involved. Read further about Premarital Counselling to understand the importance of the institution of marriage & prepare mentally for the marriage.

    Marriage Counselling

    A marriage older than a week, has reasons for divorce. A stitch in time saves NINE. This stitch is the ‘Marital Counselling’. Counselling, timely received & acted upon, helps prevent marriage conflicts/discords altogether; or handle them efficiently & successfully if they do occur. Read further on what entails in Marriage Counselling.

    Adoloscent Counselling

    Sudden spurt in hormones in adolescence/teenagers results in rapid physical, sexual & emotional changes. The changes are so sudden & so rapid that most teenagers are caught off guard & find it difficult to cope up with them unless specifically counseled. Read more about the importance of Adolescent Counselling.